Abel Sanchez and Other Stories by Miguel De Unamuno

Author:Miguel De Unamuno
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9781621575122
Publisher: Regnery Publishing
Published: 2015-10-23T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 28

“Ah, to be you, Don Joaquín,” said the poor disinherited Aragonese father of five to Joaquín one day, after he had succeeded in extracting some money from his benefactor.

“You want to be me! I don’t understand.”

“Yes, I would give everything to be you, Don Joaquín.”

“What is this ‘everything’ you would give, now?”

“Everything I can give, everything I have.”

“And what is that?”

“My life!”

“Your life to be me!” To himself Joaquín added: “I would give my own to be someone else entirely!”

“Yes, my life in order to be you.”

“This is something I can’t very well understand, my friend. I can’t understand anyone’s being disposed to give up their life to be someone else. To be someone else is to cease to be oneself, to cease to be the person one is.”

“Doubtless so.”

“Which is the same as ceasing to exist.”

“Doubtless.”

“And with no guarantee of becoming another. . .”

“Doubtless. What I mean to say, Don Joaquín, is that I would cease to exist, with a very good will, or more clearly, that I would put a bullet in my head or throw myself in the river, if I could be sure that my family, who keep me tied to this miserable life, who don’t allow me to take my life, would find a father in you. Don’t you understand now?”

“Yes, I do understand. So that. . .”

“ . . . a wretched bit of attachment I have to this life! I would be very glad to give up being myself and to kill off my memories, if it were not for my family. Although, in truth, there is something else which restrains me, too.”

“What?”

“The fear that my memories, my story, my history might accompany me beyond death. Ah, to be you!”

“And suppose motives just like your own, my friend, keep me alive?”

“Impossible, you’re rich.”

“Rich . . . rich. . .”

“A rich man never has cause for complaint. You lack nothing. A wife, daughter, a good practice, reputation . . . what more could you want? You weren’t disinherited by your father; you weren’t put out of your house to beg by your brother. You weren’t obliged to become a beggar! Ah, to be you, Don Joaquín!”

When Don Joaquín found himself alone later he said to himself: “Ah, to be me! That man actually envies me, he envies me! And I, who would I like to be?”

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